Friday, May 7, 2010

Cassandra is on this time the term is almost correct. Knowing Wikipedia, the readers can and do change the text to what they think it should read.
But for now "Cassandra metaphor..." is looking OK.

To response to the previous post, educating and informing professionals about OTRS/Cassandra phenomenon continues to be an uphill battle.

The biggest hurdle of NT-AS families is to have professionals/counselors/etc LISTEN to the AS individuals AND the NT spouses. Many AS adults feel that only they should we heard regarding NT-AS relationships. Of course this is ToM 'talking,' as there are two parties, two viewpoints involved within NT-AS relationships, something AS individuals have difficulty understanding.
By professionals allowing/accepting only the AS 'voices' to be heard, they are making/causing more distance between the NT-AS spouses. The relationship issues/problems involve both the AS individual AND the NT spouse. With both 'voices' being heard, professionals will better understand the complete picture regarding NT-AS relationships, then real progress for the couple may be

If, the professional allows the NT to discuss the NT-aspect of living with someone with AS, and the professional does not accept or recognize the issues/problems for the NT, then run, do not walk, to another professional. It may take a few attempts, but there are professionals who accept and understand OTRS/Cassandra phenomenon and the importance of them validating and accepting both the NT and AS individual.

The ideal situation for support-assistance for a NT-AS relationship, is for each spouse to have their own professional-counselor. A professional who understands, accepts and validates their client and his/her particular needs and viewpoint. Later on, when both spouses feel they are strong enough, bring the professionals and their clients together for group support and assistance meetings.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Most NT spouses can related to this quote:

"The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved." Mother Teresa

The Cassandra Phenomenon

"Counselling for Asperger Couples" Barrie Thompson, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, 2008. ISBN: 978-1-84310-544-2.

Quote, Foreword by Steve Bagnall:

"...Some years ago, when I was working as Deputy Chief Executive of Relate, I received a letter urging us to do more for couples where one partner had Asperger Syndrome (AS). In fact the letter was quite critical of us, so I wanted to respond positively. But it was very difficult to respond positively as most of our workforce had probably never heard of AS."

"...If one partner had AS this was potentially a huge issue for the couple unless they could find successful strategies. At the same time many couples were struggling with this without even knowing it. There was no question of developing a model of how we could work more effectively with couples where one partner had AS."

Quote, Barrie Thompson, Page 55:

"My reasons for drawing attention to this condition, be it termed Cassandra phenomenon or Mirror Syndrome, is to let NT partners who are in plight know that their situation is recognised. It is known that loneliness, anxiety and depression can result when they try to tell people about their AS situation, but they are not listened to or are thought of as being melodramatic or even paranoid. I also hope that family members, friends and colleagues may in the future take notice and be more prepared to hear what 'Cassandra' has to say."